How to Show Real Acceptance (Not Just Say You Do)
Real acceptance goes beyond good intentions. It’s not just about saying the right words or checking a diversity box—it’s about becoming the kind of people who want to show up for others in everyday moments.
As therapists, we know that being seen and accepted for who you are is at the heart of healing. But acceptance doesn’t just happen because we say the right words or hang a flag in the window. It’s in the everyday choices we make—how we listen, how we show up, and how we keep learning.
Here are five small, research-supported ways to practice real, meaningful acceptance—no matter who’s sitting across from you.
1. Use Inclusive Language—Every Time
Language has power. Small changes can make a big impact. Using inclusive terms and avoiding assumptions about someone’s identity or experiences shows attentiveness and respect. It builds trust and makes people more likely to open up—especially those who’ve felt misunderstood in the past.
TIPS:
Try saying “partner” instead of assuming the gender of someone’s significant other.
Use person-first language for disabilities (e.g., “person with a disability”), unless someone indicates identity-first language is preferred (e.g., “autistic person”).
Ask (and use) someone’s pronouns.
2. Cultural Humility: Be Curious, Not Certain
You don’t need to know everything about someone’s culture or identity to be respectful. In fact, it’s much better to assume that you don’t! Cultural humility goes further than expertise–it recognizes that you don’t know everything about a person’s story. It allows the person in front of you to share their experiences and their culture, in their way.
TIPS:
Ask open-ended questions.
Own what you don’t know.
Let others teach you about their experience instead of relying on generalizations.
Be careful not to make another person into a “token” member of their community. Let them share what they want,
3. Create a Safe Space Around You
Whether or not we recognize it, most of us look for subtle signs in our environments to know if we are safe to be ourselves. While acceptance is often verbal, it can also be tangible. A warm, affirming space invites trust and encourages others to show up as they are.
TIPS:
Use small signals of inclusion (multilingual materials, a rainbow sticker).
Make your space physically accessible: clear walkways, ramps if needed, and seating that works for a range of bodies and abilities.
4. Listen Without Fixing
People don’t always need answers. Often, they just need space to be heard without judgment or assumptions. Many marginalized individuals also face pressure to explain or defend their identities. Providing a space where they can simply be is one of the most powerful forms of acceptance. Being heard is healing. It’s a powerful tool—especially for those who haven’t always had the chance.
TIPS:
Listen more than you speak.
Validate feelings without jumping in to fix.
Hold space for nuance, contradiction, and emotion.
5. Keep Growing
Inclusion isn’t a box you check. It’s a lifelong practice—and none of us are finished learning. Continual learning reduces bias, improves outcomes, and helps you show up more fully for the people around you.
TIPS:
Seek out new perspectives.
Reflect on your biases–and be honest with yourself!
Be open to feedback.
Advocate for equity in the spaces you are a part of.
Bottom line?
Acceptance isn’t about having the perfect words or credentials. It’s about showing up—with openness, respect, and the willingness to grow alongside the people around you. We at Arise are committed to building a space where everyone feels like they belong.
By Kade Cope, CSW
Looking for support from affirming therapists who see the whole you? We’re here. Reach out anytime.